I think the older Merrick gets, the more I'm realizing that there's so much out there he is vulnerable to. I constantly worried about every little bump and bruise he would get when he was a baby (and of course I still do). We would go through such great lengths to keep him safe and protect him.
But for some reason my mind hadn't yet wrapped itself around the other hurts there are in this world. It's becoming clear to me that the hurts caused by others - someone hurting his feelings, crushes and heartbreaks down the road, etc --- those I think are far more painful to a parent than any bumps, bruises or cuts combined. I dread that Merrick will have to experience these things, and that Craig and I will hurt right along with him. At the same time though, the experience of having your child treat others with kindness, do the right thing in a tough situation, etc...perhaps all those heartwarming things help lessen the heartbreaks just a little bit.
Our first heartbreak - where Merrick's feelings were hurt by another- I experienced at the park near our house a couple months ago. He's at this age now where sometimes he doesn't want me to be in the mix while he's playing...he wants his independence and so I stand back and let him do his thing for a while. Well, he was playing and saw this group of older kids involved in a game of hide and seek. These kids were little too, probably no more than 5-7, but far older than Merrick at 2 yrs. Merrick decided he wanted to play with them, so he did. He ran right alongside them and was hiding with them. It was funny because the kids had no clue he was playing with them, and Merrick had no clue they didn't know he was playing with them.
Finally he was helping to find some of the kids, and was yelling "Boo!" when he found them. One of the kids ran out of his hiding spot and yelled at Merrick -- "Why are you saying that, go away!!" I saw and heard the whole thing. Merrick's face had a look of shock, and his lower lip started to tremble followed by him bursting into tears. It broke my heart into a million pieces. I may sound a bit dramatic but I kid you not, it did.
I wanted to scoop him up and yell right back at the kid. I did scoop him up -- but I stopped short of yelling at the kid. After all, he's just a little kid himself. His Mom handled it very well and had the boy come right back to apologize to Merrick. I would bet that Merrick has completely forgotten about the whole thing. But I don't know that I ever will. Wow, I SOOOOO need to toughen up.
Now for the heartwarming. I realize that the heartwarming can happen when other kids treat Merrick so nicely. All his friends at school are so sweet and like to give him hugs and kisses. Everytime I see one of his friends so excited to see Merrick, it melts my heart.
It's also the best feeling in the world to hear your child did something nice for someone else. The other day his teacher told me a story about how there was a new boy in his class. It was this boy's first day, and when it came to rest time he started crying because it was the first time he'd ever been there. The teacher told me that Merrick placed his mat right next to the new boy's mat, laid down and took the boy's hand. He held his hand until the boy went to sleep, then Merrick went to sleep himself. I wanted to cry at how sweet this was.
I think as a parent there will be the times that you have to hear about someone hurting your child's feelings or your child hurting someone elses feelings. But to watch your child become his or her own person and see them do the good things, unprompted, that is just the best feeling ever.
